A little old lady goes to the doctor and says

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem
with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much.
They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at
least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was
farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady goes
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts,
although still silent, stink terribly." The doctor says,
"Good!!!
Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

Eagles mate for life, so this near-sighted eagle goes out to look for a mate.
He finds a Dove. They go back to his nest and they make love. It was
fantastic sex but all night long this dove says "I'm a dove, let's make love.
I'm a dove, let's make love." Well the eagle just can't take this for the
rest of his life so next morning he kicks her out of his nest. Then on for
the quest of another mate. He runs into a wren. He takes her back to his nest
and makes love to her. Again fantastic sex but all night long this wren says
"I'm a wren let's do it again. I'm a wren let's do it again." Well the eagle
is getting really irritated so next morning he kicks her out of the nest
Being very cautious (he thinks) he goes out to look for another mate.....He
finds the perfect mate...a Duck. So again he takes her to
his nest and makes love to her. You'll never guess what this duck said all
night long...???!!!????