Mixing Kids and Church

Subject: Mixing Kids and Church
Date: Mon, 19 Mar 2001 20:23:28 -0800

Mixing Kids and Church

1. A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as
they were on the way to church service, "And why is it
necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping.

2. The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike
cord as he went.

Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and
nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles
and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her
mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

3. Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were
sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out
loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not
supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop
me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."

4. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while
I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

5. A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was
becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she
floored her grandmother by asking, "Which virgin was the mother of
Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James virgin?"

6. A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They
were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone
could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and
quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife.

7. I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the
Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat
after me the lines of the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right
up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she
prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen."

8. A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the
aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While
facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.
So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down
the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so
hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however,
was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was
also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what
he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring
Bear."

9. One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during
the morning worship hour. The parents did their best maintain some
sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the
father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle
on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the
little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for
me!"

10. And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash
baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

11. One student's prayer: "Now I lay me down to rest, And hope to pass
tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, That's one less
test I have to take."

12. A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a
better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like
I am."

From the mouths of babes! M