These are too much!
Subject: WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP??
WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP??
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps
it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
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WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS!
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who
had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters,
officers discovered that the man
was standing beside them, shouting out to give himself up.
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WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him
to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank account.
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THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop and asked for all the money in the
cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small so he tied up the store clerk
and worked the counter himself for
three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
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DO-IT-YOURSELF BRAIN SURGERY??
In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station
with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to
give him an X-ray to help him find
his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that
the man had
drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill
and had stuck the wire in his head to try and find the missing brain.
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DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to
repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man
shouted, "That's not what I said!"
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ARE WE ARE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first
child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" The man shouted.
"This is her husband!"
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NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER!!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of
America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a
gun but unfortunately he failed to
keep his hand in his pocket.