Thought ya'llall might enjoy this!!!!!!!!!!!

----- Original Message -----
>
  Near the town of Raymondville, in the Rio Grande valley
of Texas, a fugitive barricaded himself in a small house
and threatened to shoot anyone who came near the place.
The local Sheriff called in a Texas Ranger.
  In the gun battle which followed, the fugitive was shot
and killed.  The local Justice of the Peace, acting as the
coroner, returned the verdict: "Suicide.  Subject failed
to co-operate with a Texas Ranger."


* The woman called to her husband from the kitchen of the Texas
ranch and said, "Bruno, would you please get the car and drive
the kids to the back yard so they can play ?"


* In the days of the Old West, bar fights would often spill
over into the street and before anyone knew what happened,
it was a full-scale riot.
  In one such town, the Mayor wired the Texas Rangers for
help.  On the next train, a Ranger gets off and is greeted
by the astonished Mayor. "They only sent one Ranger ???"
The Ranger straightened his hat, brushed the dust from
his coat, and replied, "Y'all only got one riot, right ?"


* A Texan was dictating his will to his lawyer: "To my son I
leave the sum of five million dollars, and he's damn lucky
I didn't cut him off entirely."


* At a convention of oil men, the speaker from Texas called
the neighboring state of Oklahoma an "Outlying province of
Texas".
The next speaker, an Oklahoman, started off his talk with,
"First of all, there ain't no state that can out-lie Texas."