Thought you might enjoy this one!

----- Original Message -----

Notice from Microsoft:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Texas
Edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped
outside of Texas.

If you have one of the Texas Editions you may need some help
understanding the commands.

The Texas Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening
screen.

It reads WINDERS98 with a background picture of the Alamo
superimposed on the Texas flag.  It is shipped with a Leann
Rimes screen saver.

Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse.
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption.
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol Boys.
Control Panel is known as the Dashboard.
Hard Drive is referred to as Wheel Drive.
Floppies are Them Little Ol' Plastic Disc Thangs.
Other features:  Instead of an Error Message you get a Winder
covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.

Terminology:
OK = ats aww-right.
Cancel = heck no.
Reset = aw shoot.
Yes = shore.
No = Naaaa.
Find = hunt-fer it.
Go to = over yonder.
Back = back yonder.
Help = hep me out here.
Stop = ternit off.
Start = crank it up.
Settings =sittins.
Programs = stuff that does stuff.
Documents = stuff I done done.
Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters
or punctuation marks.  We regret any inconvenience it may have
caused if you received a copy of the Texas Edition.  You may
return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
 
Quick Wit:

Joe and Eb decided to play hooky one day from work and go duck
hunting. They sat in the duck blind all morning and did not
get a single duck.  
 
Joe finally scratched his head, looked at Eb and said, "Eb, I
just don't think yer throwin' that there dog high enough."